the start of something new

For some time now, I've wanted to write fiction, and I've got the beginning of three or four stories and/or novels in notebooks. I made up names, I made up characters, and plot twists aplenty; I could not make, however, the consistent effort of writing a little bit every day. As many people have told me, I should develop the habit of writing a little each day, even if it's all crap, even if it's not particularly a part of my fictive works in progress.

For some time now, I've been keeping a diary, but the word's pretty misleading, as I do not write in it every day. It's silly to hand write and then to count the words one by one, so if I'm to get a sense of how much I've written over a month or a year, it's much more practical to write electronically and over a blog. I've recently had a Trojan-related hard drive problem with my laptop, so I figure that recording words somewhere it'll be backed up would be preferable to the risk of perhaps losing it on a hard drive someday.

Another motivation is that I've gotten advice telling me to be more open, less secretive, etc., to get over my social anxiety. It's not as comical or severe as Lucy from the last season of the Big Bang Theory, but I think I have a problem. It's easy for me to go out with a specific objective or agenda, to meet with people regarding specific business, with a facade up that leaves everybody none the wiser as to who I actually am. In reality there are enough things that I hate about myself that I feel as though I should hide from others, so even while meeting some of my friends I'm not able to feel and act the same way as while I am alone. So, perhaps this is not exactly social anxiety, but it's a problem to not be able to act naturally around people until I know them well. So sometimes I come off as difficult, distracted, or defensive, without any real reason for acting so.

I am who I am, and I'm never going to get approval from everyone. For my self-approval and well-being, I'd like to develop some healthier habits, such as writing about things that I love (cooking, reading books, rabbits, music!) instead of being the computer/couch potato all the time. Over the past seven years, for example, I've played too much World of Warcraft, to the detriment of other pursuits that might have kept me more physically fit. Instead of just sitting back consuming and being inactive, I want to make or "produce" things for a change, or learn new things.

I visited my family this past weekend and shot actual firearms at a 100 yard shooting range for the first time on Saturday. I guess I'm not a bad shot, but I'd definitely have to practice to keep competitive or hit the bull's eye. My best shot was a 9, that landed really close to a 10 at the 25 yard range; at 100 yards, I was off by a few inches but which near-sighted beginner like me could really see that far with the iron sight? My biggest thing to work on would be to steady my hands while breathing and aiming quickly. Who knows, I may even go big game hunting one day!

I cooked throughout the weekend, and the results looked/smelled so good that I took pictures. I'd be at a loss to point anyone to a recipe, though, since I mostly cook by intuition, taking what ingredients (meat, vegetables, and spices) are available and mixing them together in amounts and proportions I estimate. In fact, most Chinese home cooks cook this way, perhaps checking for taste just before transferring the food from the wok to a bowl or a plate.

Here were the yummies on Saturday after getting home from the range:

I guess I'll name this Spring-Time Squash, but it's really simple: add a bit of chicken buillion after stir-frying cut squash and chili in hot cooking oil, then simmer the squash (without adding water; there's enough liquid that emerges from the cooking squash) and add in some starch and scallions just before turning off the flame.

Ma-La Krab and Mixed Veggies: a rather quick-and-dirty 3-minute "dish" for my brother who is picky about eating unprocessed vegetables.
Exactly as suggested by the title: tongue-numbing dried-chili-flakes-and-peppercorn oil (no actual peppercorns) add flavor to 16 oz of frozen mixed vegetables and 4 oz coarsely chopped imitation crab meat. 

Also, the "Main Event": Xiaocaoyan: Stir-fried Lamb. First time making it(!!)
Sun-dried chilies and serrano chili combined with onion, ginger, and garlic to bring out the fragrance of the lamb. 

Then, Sunday:

Clockwise from top left: edamame boiled with Chinese spices; beef cooked with pepper, onion, a tad of ginger and soy sauce; my specialty long bean stir-fry that is both crisp and tender, flavored by chili and soy sauce.

There have been three litters of bunnies that have hopped their way out of the warren(s) in our backyard. The heat was abominable so even though I took considerable pleasure in feeding them, I did not take my phone out to take any pictures of them. However, on Sunday I was surprised by a smallish rabbit when I was feeding Mu-Tu/Guaiguai some squash peel shavings. This smallish rabbit was leaning and crawling into my outdated denim long skirt that I wore to protect myself from the hot weather (109 F)! This rabbit also let me take him/her into my arms and into the house without a fuss. (Since we let them run around freely in the enclosed part of our backyard, most rabbits will run or move away disinterestedly after a petting, so this is pretty rare behavior.)

Upon entering the house I was informed that I had finally discovered the blind rabbit who isn't blind anymore, whom I privately named RuRu a few months ago.

Since I'm sure I've satisfied my word count for the day, I'll save the story (thus far) of RuRu for next time. I'll post her pictures then, too.